


Honey, I believe our time has come

by Couragecomesfromwithin



Category: Scorpion (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, One Year Later, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-08-30 01:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8514211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Couragecomesfromwithin/pseuds/Couragecomesfromwithin
Summary: It's been a year, and Happy has something to ask.. written having been listening (on repeat) to "I wanna have your babies" By Natasha Bedingfield :P





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So if you are American, it is very possible you need a little something to smile over today. I hope this provides that something, however a small a smile it may be. xxx

* * *

 

She had been sitting on it for about a week. She knew she had no reason to be nervous, this was Toby, her husband for nearly a year, she could tell him anything. So why were her palms clammy? Why did she feel her heart was going to fly out her chest? Why did she feel like there was not enough oxygen in the room?

 

He sat in bed, his reading glasses perched on his nose, he was frustrated in the beginning as to need such a thing as a pair of glasses as to be able to read his beloved books for more than an hour without headache, she had teased him how it was a sign he was getting old. But she actually found them rather endearing, she loved the warm feeling she obtained her stomach as he would peer over the top of them to watch her as she undressed at night.

 

Nights where they spent in comfortable silence, having gone to work but had no case,thus able to leave at a reasonable hour to come home, make dinner and curl up together under a blanket on the couch, watching whatever took their fancy. She loved such night's like these more than she ever thought she could. Maybe they were _both_ getting old. If that were true, then she really didn't want to wait any longer.

 

She stood in her towel by the end of the bed, nervously playing with the ends of her wet hair. He was sat in bed wearing his _new_ Harvard shirt, Happy having claimed his old one for her own, his own damp hair drying into the messy curls she loved to run her hands though, and his glasses perched back on his nose, engrossed in a book recommended to him by one of his friendly, fellow psychiatrists. She curled her toes into their plush new carpet, _their_ plush new carpet, in _their_ cosy new home. A home with a couple extra rooms. “Toby?” she dropped her towel, pulling on her night shorts and _her_ Harvard shirt. It felt right wearing it, sometimes it would lose that 'Toby' smell and she would make him swap as to get it back, he just rolled his eyes and complied, like a good husband should. _Husband, her husband._ She didn't know what it was to have a real husband,what it would be like her first marriage being an utter sham, but it felt good, it felt right to look at Toby and call him _husband. S_ he wondered if she wore the same look on her face when she said it, as Toby did when calling her,  _wife._ She hoped she did, and she hoped he saw it. She never though she would get this, a life and a love of which to treasure,of which was her own. She had it and now she wanted more, she wanted to add to it, let their love grow some more.

 

“Toby?”

 

He finally looked up over his spectacles, “hmmm?”

 

She was working hard to control her smile, to control the hopeful apprehension that bubbled inside her. “Can we talk?”

 

He set his book down on the small table beside him, “that sounds ominous”

 

The corner of her mouth twitched as moved up onto the bed, coming to straddle him. Maybe the positioning might give her some sway should it be necessary. She ran her fingers a few times through his hair as he rubbed circles on her hips with the pads of his thumbs. Her voice was low and gentle, “not ominous, I promise.”

 

His brow creased as he took in her expression, “what's up honey bunch?”. She took her time carefully pinching the sides of his glasses, sliding them off his face, folding in the legs and placing them on top of his book. She played with the chords of his pants, unsure now of how to start, despite having run though several different potentialities in the shower. She took in a deep breath, still not looking at him, “Toby..?” He arched a brow, smiling at her warmly as he lifted his hand to tilt her head to look at him. “Yes, Happy, what is it?” She bit down on her lip, she was really about to say it and she had no idea what his reaction might be, she hoped, she hoped it would be what she wanted. But there was always the chance it wouldn't be.

 

“Toby..” Her voice was little more than a whisper now, and her hands were smoothing at his shirt as to give them something to do. He was looking a little worried now, the space between his brow furrowed, his eyes trying to get a read on what it was she was trying to say, he took her face in his hands pulling her in to give her a gentle kiss, “What is it you want to say Hap? I am listening, darling.”

 

Her voice was shaking a little and her eyes were dampening, “I want to have a baby. I want us to have our baby”

 

Toby visibly relaxed, allowing the tension and breath he was holding to be let go as he fell back against his pillows propped up against the head board, he chuckled “Happy, geez! I thought it was going to be something bad, like you didn't file the paperwork to divorce Walt or something, I thought you were about to tell me you were now a polyandrist or something” He gave another chuckle, and that was all very well, but it wasn't the question in hand, “But the baby thing, what about the baby thing?”

 

He sat back up to be flush with her, placing a hand at the back of her neck, “That's amazing Happy, truly I'm elated because I want that too, but why so nervous about just saying it?” She was inspecting his chest hair, avoiding his gaze, embarrassed, “I don't know, I didn't want to push it or hear you had changed your mind or you didn't think we were ready yet. I was just scared”

 

He tucked a strand of damp hair behind her ear,“Happy, you _never_ have to fear asking me something, or telling me what it is you want”, he squeezed her hip teasingly, “and you _know_ that”. That raised a smile from her, she really had been more _ambitious_ in asking for what she wanted from him this last year of marriage, and he always delivered. _Always._

 

She looked at him, with a small smile, “I know,I know I just...” She gave a shrug, tracing patterns across his face, he kissed at her fingers as they traced his lips, he was looking at her intensely. “We gonna start our family Hap?” She beamed as she looked back at him, “yeah, yeah we are Doc” she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his neck.

 

When she pulled back he had that expression that told her he was biting his tongue on saying something, she couldn't help the tight feeling of her heart. “what is it?” he widened his eyes, “Nothing”. She tightened her arms, “seriously Doc, what?”

 

He shook his head, smiling, kissing the cheek of her tense form, “Nothing Hap, I was just going to ask how you wanted to do this and kind of... _when_?”

 

she raised her brows, “How? Seriously?”

 

He just shook his head again laughing, “I know how, I mean, _how,_ like, do you want to just start _trying_ , or do you want to go down the fertility kit route, I just want an idea as to how soon are you wanting to do this, because honestly I'm down for just trying naturally right now, not putting to much pressure on it, but if you want this like, _now_ , then we can pick up an ovulation kit tomorrow and I will do all I can to help make this happen as quickly as possible, _even_ if it means having to have sex on a schedule and at the drop of a hat, the drop of _my_ hat,”

 

She gave a soft laugh at the thought. Happy knew that desperation for something can in fact make it harder to achieve, and sex on a schedule would actually be quite hard with a job such as theirs. She hoped it wouldn't actually come to that, that they hadn't now waited to long, but the fact that Toby posed it as a suggestion, to support her and help achieve it as soon as possible even with the effort involved. It meant a lot.

 

The thought suddenly occurred to her as she watched his expression. Had Toby always been this gorgeous? Had his smile always been that bright? Did his warm brown eyes always light up with such warmth, full of such joy as he looked upon her?. Happy had always found the sappy,cheesy movies where they had shots of the love interest bathed in a glow of light pathetic and highly implausible. But as she looked at Toby now, rambling enthusiastically at the prospect of having a baby with her, it was suddenly real. He really did seem to glow. “-And when I said _when,_ I meant are you talking like trying immediately, right here right now or in a few weeks..or months... I just need a little bit more detail here, telling me that you wanna have a baby doesn't really answer all these things babe”

 

Happy nodded,considering what it was he was asking,“I want to try naturally first, just you and me the old fashioned way, for a little while at least..if things don't happen then, then we will try narrowing down our most receptive timelines. You are right I want it,like I really, really want this for us now,I think our time is now” he stoked her hair, “So do I Honey, so do I.” She held his gaze, “Then we are going to try, I'm not expecting a miraculous successes our first attempt, but right here, right now. I wanna start trying. Are you with me?”. He kissed her gently, “right here with you babe,No pressure, just fun. If it happens, it happens. If not we will just keep going at it...like rabbits”

 

That made her laugh, giving a goofy, affirming nod “we'll be sure to stock up on energy drinks”

 

He kissed her long and hard, pulling back, gazing into her eyes “I love you. So much” she gazed back, her expression relaxed and happy, “I love you too, Toby. More than you'll ever know”

 

He leaned in again to kiss her tenderly, “I do know Hap, I do know. I see it more in the things you do, than in what you can say, so don't ever doubt that I don't know how deep your feeling go ok? and when this baby comes, and this baby will come. They will know that love to. They will learn to recognise it the same way I have. I know that when we thought this was happening before, that it worried you, and I'll admit, it worried me too, but I know you better now, I understand you better. So I mean it when I say, I believe we are ready now, really truly ready and whatever happens from this point on, be it easy or hard. I am always right here with you on this ok? Always.”

 

Her eyes were leaking and she sniffled a little as she swiped away the tears that had fallen, “I can't wait to be standing outside the school, waiting on our kid, Doc”

 

He wrapped his arms around her hips, “I'll be right by your side sweetpea, right by your side”

 


	2. Come what may

* * *

 

5 months, they had been trying for 5 months. Whilst that wasn't unusual for things to take a while sometimes, he could tell Happy was beginning to lose her positivity and energy, their nights of “fun” were becoming less so, she was started to become fixated on him achieving his release, it had been weeks since she had allowed him to help her achieve hers. He was trying not to become frustrated at her, understanding why she was beginning stress and put emphasis on him achieving his and deeming hers unnecessary.

 

But what if it was on him, what if they hadn't been successful yet because of him, because there was something _wrong_ with him. Or what if it was Happy, like he knew she herself was beginning to worry. What if the poisoning from working on the panels _had_ done damage, she would be beside herself. But they couldn't suspect anything yet. They were still early days. But he was still going to make that doctors appointment.

* * *

 

A few weeks later Toby had surpassed his limit. They were curled up underneath their blanket, Him reading a book, her curled up next to him, her head resting on his shoulder. Thus it began. Her hand started rubbing at his thigh, her head turning to run kisses along his shoulder and collar bone through the material of his shirt. He gave a sigh, closed his book and pulled off his glasses to pinch at the bridge of his nose. “Happy.”

 

her hands were crawling under his shirt as she kissed and sucked at the skin of his neck, “hmm?”

 

He pulled out her hands, holding his wrists. “Happy, stop”

 

She stilled, pulling back slowly. The look of confusion and utter panic written across her face.

 

He kept his tone calm and low “Happy, we can't keep doing this, _I_ can't keep doing this.”

 

she pulled her hands from his, she blinked as her lips parted. She was pulling away, she might as well of been on the other side of the room from her expression, “you don't want this any more. I-I thought you were excited, I thought you were willing to do whatever it takes. You said this was what you wanted” She was slowly moving away from him, if he didn't stop her she was going to flee for the bedroom and he'd be trying to talk to her though a door. He grabbed at her just as she stood, about to turn. She pulled at his hands, trying to pry them off her hips, “Happy! Hap! Happy, Stop!”

 

The fight was apparently taken out of her, she swiped away the tears that had fallen roughly, staring off into the corner of the room, he kept his grip on her. “Happy, you have got to stop jumping the gun. I just want to reset ok?.Not stop trying, just, reset.” She shifted her gaze to look at him, hers still held hurt and frustration “Happy, you have started to make this about desperation, which we said we wouldn't do. So tonight, please. Lets just make tonight about you, ok? Me, and you.”

 

She sniffled softly, nodding her head. He took her hand leading her to the bedroom.

 

Silently they started undressing, touching, kissing, caressing one another's body parts as each piece of clothing came off. Toby had missed just how soft the underside of her breast felt, how she would squeak quietly as he nipped the column just behind her jaw and Happy had forgotten how he would shiver as she ran her fingers across his ribs, how the hairs across his body would stand on end as she sighed his name. She realised he was right. She missed the enjoyment and pleasure and contentment that came with nights of making love. As he laid her softly on the bed, hovering over her, kissing down her neck, she made a silent _wish_ to whatever and whoever may be listening.

* * *

 

As they curled up tangled in their sheets, catching their breath, Happy made a choice, “Toby?”

“Yeah?”

 

“I want to stop trying.”

 

He turned his head to look at her from where she lay on his chest, “what?”

 

she stroked her finger along the line on his chest, “I want to stop trying. No more 'trying'. As of now we are no longer 'trying' to have a baby, we are just being irresponsible and not using protection, ok?”

 

He was confused to say the least, but he agreed. Maybe it would be good for them. They were decidedly just to live life as two, young, healthy, married people with a couple extra rooms, who were choosing to bin the condoms and enjoy appeasing their sexual appetite as one. From that decision, come what may.

 


	3. I feel you there, and you are mine

And sometimes _wishes_ do come true. Well, logically it may have been luck, or even coincidence in fact, but certainly, 7 weeks later, Happy Quinn-Curtis was officially _very_ late and it was time to take the test.

 

After 5 weeks and missing a second period, the hope had officially bloomed in Happy, but she was determinedly not going allow herself to get too excited, she had been painfully wrong before. She convinced herself that if she just waited just a little bit longer, just to be sure, she could avoid the pain of another negative test.

 

After he third time they obtained a negative result during their attempts of actively trying, she had stopped telling Toby when she took them. The disappointment in his eyes was to reminiscent of the pain that had held as she had been forced to tell him the first time that she wasn't in fact pregnant as she dismantled the crib

 

She was glad she had already cut down on caffeine and began eating better months previously, in preparation and attempt to better her chances of becoming pregnant and had continued it,despite them no longer “trying”. It was easier having gotten into the habit of eating better, she had certainly felt better for it anyhow. Now she had a real reason again to be readily conscious of it.

 

Toby had pegged her happier mood to that of having taken off the pressure of conception. He was glad to see her returning to herself, she was however, just as much chasing after sex, but it was as fun and engaging as it was when they first became a couple, he took it as a good sign.

* * *

 

She had waited till she was really sure in herself. She had just about all the symptoms, all except morning sickness, so far, and she hoped it stayed that way. The nausea she could deal with and not being actively sick stopped Toby from being suspicious. But all the other symptoms were there,so far she had cried at the Budweiser commercial, had taken to pineapple like it was going out of fashion,had found herself tired more easily, although was finding it difficult at times to give Toby a nights peace. He had yet to comment or complain, she just wanted him so badly now, and some times without logical reason or warning. Just that morning he'd licked the honey off his finger having missed while putting it into his mug, and she'd practically burned at the sight, wanting nothing more than the feeling of that mouth on her neck,on her lips, on..

 

She had sent Toby out to get food, she needed to be doing this alone. She took down and opened the lid of her box, underneath her tampons and pads sat the tests. Hopefully she wouldn't have to replace these. Again.

 

She opened the cardboard box taking out the test, her hand shaking a little. This was real, she was really about to do this confirming that of which she was already so sure of. She sat down on the toilet, taking a deep breath.

* * *

 

Three minutes had never passed so slowly for Happy, she held it in her hand, closed her eyes and waited for her phone to signal the times end.

 

The chimes went off, she peeked open her eye. She was fully prepared but she still dropped the test at the sight of the two pink lines. Picking it back up she couldn't stop staring her eyes instantly filling up. She must have been gazing upon the test quite a while because the next think she knew she heard the door opening and Toby's footfalls as he entered, “Happy?” She quickly grabbed the box shoving the test back inside, placing her the feminine box back up on the shelf, washing her hands before throwing open the door of the bathroom. Hear heart was hammering, “Hey”. He appeared startled by her enthusiasm of his return, looking her up and down, glancing about the place as if looking for a reason for such a positive reaction.

 

She practically bounced as she walked towards him, taking a bag of the groceries in his arms, he followed, seemingly content without obvious reason to her upbeat mood. It was the way she was looking at him, like a cat sat in front of a bird. He couldn't get a true read on her expression, the feeling in the room was that she had the upper hand in something, Toby wasn't sure if he should be suspicious or not.

 

He kept his eyes flickering back and forth to her form as it moved about the room,“I got enough food for the week, if the world doesn't end before then. How do you feel about sweet and sour tonight?” She was biting her lip, examining the back of the couch, “extra pineapple?” He gave a chuckle from the island where he was unpacking what he bought “if that's what you wish”. She gave a nod, “It is what I wish” her eyes were dangerous, a sly smirk kissing her lips.

 

She leant on the back of the couch, watching him. He looked up, “What's up with you and this new pineapple addiction anyway? A new health craze?” there was something in his eyes close to suspicion. She shook her head, pressing her lips together innocently “nothing, I just like pineapple” He held her gaze for a moment longer, narrowing his eyes, _dang, she was getting good at making herself unreadable,_ He nodded, apparently convinced, turning back to cutting up the chicken.

* * *

 

She made no advances to him that night and had said very little since the discussion of dinner, so the next morning when they got into work he was surprised at how she instantly approached Walt's desk. Her small glance to Toby as they passed to go upstairs had Toby making moves to the intercom, to which were abashed by Paige.

 

“Merryweather, you are _not_ listening into a private conversation between your wife and boss!”, Toby sputtered at her, “But they are talking about me!”. She scowled at him “you can't know that, and if it's something Happy wanted you to know she would have told you”

 

“But!” He was cut off with a glare.

 

He pottered about the kitchen making himself some coffee,waiting for them to come back down. The moment Happy passed him he was tailing after her, “what was that? What were you talking about?”

 

There came a sharp “Toby!” from across the garage that made Happy smile, “it's fine Paige, I was just telling Walt I have a couple doctors appointments next week, that I really need to go to... Check up on the poisoning, stuff..”

 

He felt a little stung, “why didn't you tell me? I mean, I'll go with you”

 

she cringed, “No, no..thank you Doc, but this is something I want to do on my own, I promise everything will be fine.”

 

He looked a little downtrodden that she didn't want him there to support her, even if it was to be good news. Happy comforted herself with the idea of Toby's reaction when she would finally be able to _tell_  him, That his hurt wasn't going to last long.

* * *

 

The days leading up to Happy's second appointment she started to become a bit twitchier, her anxiety started rising to the surface despite her insistence she was fine. She would be getting the results of the blood test they had drawn the week previously. She had spoken to the doctor, there was no reason to believe the poisoning would have left any lasting affect or cause to effect a baby now, but things still had to be ruled out.

 

She left for her appointment with calls of good luck and a tight hug from Toby who assured her it would all be fine. She was gone an hour and returned with a smile with reassurance to the garages apprehensive faces that she was “all good, all clear”. Toby let out the biggest sigh of relief. She made her way towards him,“Weren't nervous were you Doc?”. Straightening the hat on his head he stood up, wrapping her in his arms. “of course I was bloody nervous. What kind of husband would I be if I weren't, it was only made worse by the fact you wouldn't let me go with you”

 

She poked his side, “there wasn't any reason to, I knew everything would be ok, anyway your the doctor, have you seen any cause for concern?” He gave a low chuckle, “No, but i'm only a Psychologist”, She gave a small snort and rolled her eyes, relaxing into his embrace, “right”

* * *

 

It was a few days later on a case as she and Paige were driving to a high security women's prison to talk to an inmate that Paige asked the question she had been dying to, “that blood test wasn't just about the poisoning, was it?”

 

Happy shifted in her seat, “what are you talking about Dineen?”

 

Paige gave a small scoff, “not a genius, but not an idiot either Happy. I know your pregnant. Though it appears, Toby does not.. yet”

 

Happy snorted a laugh and cleared her throat, “how'd you know Dineen? And you would find it amazing what the Doc can miss when it's right under his nose”.

 

Paige let out a tinkling laugh, “call it mothers intuition Happy, you'll soon get to know all about it”

 

Happy was quiet a while but eventually blew out a sigh, “The test was to confirm if I was in fact really pregnant and make sure no damage was done...or could be done, y'know.. to the kid, because of the poisoning”

 

Paige turned to look at her as they stopped at a set of traffic lights,“I'm glad it is all going well Happy, I'm really happy for you, for you both... I know it's been a while coming.”

 

Happy nodded softly “Thanks Dineen...just,promise you'll act surprised when Toby undoubtedly comes in proclaiming it from his soap box, You know he won't be able to keep it to himself for any length of time.” She smiled at the image of Toby beaming from his box, he was so proud to tell everyone they were together, she could only imagine it doubled at the announcement of their child.

 

“Maybe you should tell him to keep it between the two of you, till your in the clear zone?”

 

Happy gave an awkward chuckle, “Funny thing Paige, we're only actually a week away from that point”

 

Having started moving again Paige rather suddenly stepped on the break, turning to look at her, eyes bugging from her head “What!?”

 

There was a series of angry honks from the cars behind them, Happy looked back worriedly “errrr...Paige, maybe we should save this for once we are no longer in the car. Your kinda pissing people off”

 

Paige started the car once more in shock, moving off, oblivious to the disruption she caused. “What!?.. How?! And you haven't told Toby yet! Happy, how long have you _known_?”

 

Happy was smiling, as shocked as Paige was right now it felt good to see a positive reaction, to be able to talk about it. Able to talk about their baby, who was indeed swimming about inside of her, completely unknowing of what their existence meant to Happy and Toby, and how desperately loved they already were, or of the madness he or she would undoubtedly be entering into either.

 

She couldn't help but rub the very small, but presently growing bump of which was knowingly caught by Happy's eyes in the mirror only a few mornings ago, “A couple weeks, I held off a while on doing a home test.” her voice quietened a little “I couldn't stand to be disappointed again, I didn't want to do it until I was really sure myself, and I wasn't going to give Toby false hope”

 

There was a pause as Paige processed what she said, before a wide grin broke out on her face,”your so going to surprise him at the first scan aren't you?”

 

She laughed at her friends excitement, “that is the plan”

 

Paige pulled up to the prison gates, looking to Happy and touching the back of her hand “He's going to be over the moon Happy”

 

Happy smiled, “I know”

 

The team liaison, looked at her from the corner of her eye, giving her a dark smile, “How about a little bet between us...I bet, he cries as soon as he sees the kid”

 

Happy scoffed, “I'm not taking that bet, I know for a fact he is going to cry. I _married_ the man and he cried.”

 

The two women grinned, laughing at the memory of the occasion that was, the Quinn-Curtis wedding.

 


	4. The time has come to tell you my love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May I recommend "sleeping at last- Life" as a song choice, It helped set what it was i wanted to happen in this chapter :)

* * *

 

The day after the case Happy found herself really quite tired and had decidedly gone back to bed despite having only been up a few hours, Toby however had reasoned it to be for that age old reason of which most women retreated to their beds.

He popped his head round the bedroom door, his voice soft and 'doctoral' “do you want a hot water bottle sweetheart? Ibuprofen? Codeine?”

She could be barely seen from under the comforter, he just heard the sleepy mumble from beneath it of, “I'm ok right now, honey” Toby bit down on his lip controlling the smile, she must be really, _really_ tired to have let slip a term of affection. He could count on one hand the number of times, in in the entirety of having been together where Happy had addressed him as anything such as “babe” or “honey”. He didn't know if he could count however her many 'creative' terms of endearment, such as “hairy bear” and “my snuggles” from having had 2 of her wisdom teeth removed over a year ago, she refused to let go of him as the anaesthetic wore off, forcibly curing up on his lap and stroking his beard. She _apparently_ couldn't remember saying or doing any of these things, but even if she didn't, he was sure to, for the rest of his life. He and the nurse had a good giggle at the 360° personality change of the woman who had entered scowling and looking dangerous.

But he understood what was going on, He had saw her box had been moved from the shelf and left on the cistern. He hadn't seen it moved in a while nor seen her buying...he thought maybe...it didn't matter what he thought. He had been reading into things in his desire. Maybe it wasn't their time just yet, but it _would_ come. It might just take a little more work than they had imagined.

Happy was curled up in the duvet, at night she had to share the covers of the bed with Toby, she had forgotten how great it was to have them all to yourself. She lay looking at her side of the room, trailing her fingers across her abdomen. They were going to have a baby, sometimes the realisation would just hit her, it felt like a dream after the heartache of finally getting to this point. She wondered what kind of cot they should get, she knew the baby would be to small to go into a room all by it's self, she was kind of looking forward to sleeping each night to the snuffly breaths of a newborn, she even looked forward to getting up several times in those nights to tend to their little one. _Their_ little one. maybe they should get one that has a side that can be taken down, the thought of reaching over and being able to rest a hand on her baby warmed Happy's stomach.She liked that thought.

She couldn't stop thinking about looking down at the test and seeing those little lines, she had gone to dispose of the positive pregnancy test from her box several times over the course of the week, she just couldn't. She held it and it was real. She looked at it was true. She was going to be a Mom. She was going to make a Dad of Toby. They were going to be a _family_ , a family of _three_. The way she felt right now, she wanted this again and again. She was exhausted, yet had never felt more alive.

As Toby, ducked back around the door, closing it behind him realisation came. He had offered her pain meds...and a hot water bag, she only ever needed them when...He thought her cycle had started. Her hand came to her mouth as she gave a laugh. He thought..aw crap. the box.

She didn't put the box back. She had been looking at the stick when he had called on her, she must have put the lid back on because he didn't see it at the top. He couldn't have or he wouldn't be assuming...

she untangled herself from the duvet burrito she had made of herself, darting to the bathroom. It was back on it's shelf. She took it down placing it on the side, opening it to see the pregnancy test just as she left it, quickly she put it back in it's box and placing it in it's place at the bottom. “Do you need me to pick up more for you” Happy jumped nearly a foot in the air, started to find Toby in the doorway. She dropped the hand which had instinctively splayed across her stomach, she realigned the lid on the box, “No, I'm fine. I have enough.” He moved in closer, “if you need things Happy I'm not ashamed to get them.” she clutched the box closer. “Really Toby, I picked them up a couple weeks ago. I'm good.” He nodded, “ok”

she stood awkwardly for a moment before turning to put the box back up. Standing on her tiptoes she was being careful. Till a hand reached up, taking the box from her fingertips Placing it securely up on the shelf. She was a little flustered already and and took a step back, squarely into Toby's chest, she blushed furiously like a school girl, stammering “well,um, I'm just going..back.eh..back to bed. Thanks.” She dodged around him as he looked bewilderedly after her. “Hap, you ok?” she stuck her head around the doorway, smiling, though her voice was unusually high “yep. All good”

She buried her head in the pillow and groaned. Just days away and cat was nearly out of the bag. Bags really were a terrible place for cats.

* * *

 

She shared a look with Paige from across the garage as she packed up her bag, Paige gave her a quick smile and a thumbs up from behind her desk. Happy's heart was like a jack-hammer. She approached him giving him a poke with her boot,“Toby, we are going for a ride.”

He sat up sharply from where he was absolutely _not_ sleeping, face covered with a book reclined on the sofa at work, “wha?” He gave a yawn, blinking at her.

She gave him a poke in the shoulder before moving towards the door “come on, get up, we're going”

He stiffly got up, joints popping as he stood placing his hat on his head. “do I need my-”

“nope, come on”

He followed her out to the car, throwing a puzzled look to the equally puzzled friends, He heard Walters voice as the door shut behind him, “If they are sneaking off to engage-”

* * *

 

Happy had yet to say any more from having gotten in the car.

“Happy where are we going?”

she gave him a glance, “don't worry about it”

“I am worrying about it. You have practically kidnapped me, not telling me where it is we are heading or why!” he paused for a moment. “did I do something wrong? Are we heading for the desert?”

That got him a smile, “no, I'm not taking you so far as the desert”

“oh but I'm still going to my death, may I ask why?"

The smile was now lifting the corner of her mouth, “for asking to many questions.”

He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again, pursing his lips, bobbing his head, “I can be quiet, I can be good, I can stop asking questions.”

she gave a chuckle, “clearly”. He was playing along nicely, now to set him on a topic to which would stop him being to observant of their surroundings. ”Toby why do you love me? Really, why have you always loved me so deeply, why do you want to have a baby with me?”

“Happy...is that why we are out here? Are you worried about us, about me? Because I've just trying to give you some space, I know you have had spells of doing really well..and then not. I didn't want to seem overbearing.” He had turned almost fully in his seat to look at her. The upswing in his voice as he was addressing her, “Happy I love you. I love you, I have always loved you, I will _always_ love you. Happy if we need to stop even 'stopping trying' we can, I won't keep going at your expense, If this is getting to be to much, even still, we can stop. I don't need a baby to be happy with you Hap, the idea has always been nice but not if you can't keep doing this.”

He scooted as much closer as his restraint allowed. “Happy if something has gone wrong, if the poisoning did _do_ something, you can tell me. You don't have to keep secrets from me Hap. You should know that by now”.

They were here. She had parked but he had yet to look away from her. She turned to look at him, trying to keep her face controlled and blank, but she could feel the glisten in her eye forming. “I did, but i'm coming clean now” He unclipped his seat belt, taking her hand, never breaking eye contact. “Happy, if you still want a baby and it isn't physically possible, there are other options. It makes no difference to me if our child shares our DNA, our kid, is our kid, irreverent of circumstance.”

She undid her own seat belt scooting her body closer, leaning her forehead against his. Her voice was a wavered whisper, “thank you.” He brought a hand up to the side of her face, tilting her face to kiss her tenderly. She held the back of his neck in her hands, kissing him once more before resting her head back on his, looking at him through her damp lashes, she gave a sniffle and a small laugh.

“By the way, we're here Doc”

He turned his head to look out the window, then back to her. “The hospital?”

“yeah”

“to speak to a specialist? To talk to the doctor about..?”

She gave him a small smile, squeezing his hand. “come on”

they exited the truck and she took his hand as she lead him in, he was keeping watch of where they were heading in the hospital.

When they reached 'Obstetrics and Gynaecology' Toby stopped, Happy turned to him, “What's up Doc?” He was staring down the hallway, “nothing, nothing, just..” He shook his head and continued walking, Happy bit down on her lip to keep a lid on her smile. Had he pieced it together yet?

She walked over to the desk as he made his way to the corner of the seating area, the furthest away from the other patients. Apparently not.

He was leaning back in the chair, looking at the picture up on the wall, the black and white image of a still slightly wrinkly looking baby peering over a shoulder, she sat down next to him and took his hand, breaking his focus. He glanced at her giving her a tight smile.

People really could be so blind to the truths of those closest to them, even a Harvard trained genius. He blew out a sigh, probably concocting a series of questions for what he supposed, would to be a rather serious talk.

* * *

 

Eventually their doctor came out calling her name. Happy stood, taking Toby's hand, leading him into the room.

She ushered them in smiling warmly, coming to stand across from them as Toby took in the set up of the room,She extended her hand and Toby instinctively shook it, taking off his hat but said nothing. Gosh he was so worried. Happy squeezed his hand making him look to her. She was rocking onto her toes excitedly, smiling happily, her eyes lit up like stars, “Toby, This is Dr Brooke. She's my obstetrician, she's _our_ obstetrician.”

Toby's eyes were disbelieving and guarded as he looked between the two smiling women, “Obst- _our obst-”_ his wide eyes jumped back to Happy, his voice high and croaky “Hap..?”

She placed her hands on his hips as he looked dazedly at her, “how do you feel about hearing your kids heartbeat for the first time,Tobes?” She saw his lip tremble as he tilted his head back to look at the ceiling, he gave a sniffle before lowering his tear laden eyes to meet hers. He shook his head lightly,“You tricked me” He gave a watery laugh and another sniffle. She squeezed his sides, “yeah, but I'd count this a treat, I'll give you double to make up for it” she gave him a wink of her own misty eyes, “Are you happy”. He gave another laugh, nodding, wiping at his eyes, wrapping his arms around her shoulders pulling her to his chest, kissing the top of her head as the slow stream of tears dropped into her hair, “I love you Happy, my god I love you, so much. so, so much”

Dr Brooke smiled as she watched their joyful moment, she had seen many over the years, but this one felt rather special.

They parted, laughing and wiping away their tears, before turning to the smiling Doctor, she raised a brow, “you two ready to meet your baby?” They both nodded, turning to one another smiling as Toby wrapped his hands around Happy's front.

Happy lay back on the bed, she really needed to pee so she hoped it didn't take too long. She rolled up her pink button down which she had paired with an unusual for Happy, pair of leggings. Toby suddenly stood from his chair, “there's a bump!” he looked to Happy expectantly who widened her eyes and raised her brows, smiling, “I know!” be motioned to her exposed abdomen “Its so small, but it's there! I can see it, I can see our baby!” Happy chuckled shaking her head looking to Dr Brooke, “I would say he isn't always like this, but i would be lying to you”

Dr Brooke laughed good naturedly, squirting the gel onto Happy's abdomen, “oh hush, you were so looking forward to this kind of reaction Happy, I saw it as soon as you told me you were bringing him. It's good to see enthusiasm, you wouldn't believe how many dads I have seen who look practically bored with their partners ability to grow an entire human being. I like seeing happy daddy's but, I like seeing even happier babies..” she moved the wand “..aaand there, is one rather happy, well sized baby” she pointed to the center of the screen. Neither parent could look away, mouths open, tears welling back up again. Toby was the first to speak, cracked and quiet “can you tell the sex?” Dr Brooke gave him a smile, “I can give you a good guess, we can never be 100% affirmative, would you like to know?”

Whilst Toby had shot in with a “yes”, Happy had with “no”. Toby looked to Happy, “I want to decorate, I want to get the room right.” Happy's eyes softened, “Toby, I would like it to be a surprise, keeping it easy and simple, finding out who this kid is on the outside and deciding on how to organise and set up the room after would be easier, we can decorate without the limitations of gender. We can have fun with it. Can we wait...please?” He gave a soft sigh, “Yeah, we can wait. However I think I know already”

She rolled her eyes, “because you can see, you can read that fuzzy little picture” he rolled his teasingly in return “No, I just feel it, I feel it like in here, deeply" He pointed to his chest "or like I can feel it in my bones or something” she stared at him as he said that, a little shocked, “why do you say that?”

He was perplexed, “say what?” she was looking into his face like she was searching for something, “that you feel it in your bones?”

Toby shrugged “because I do”, Happy sat up a little gripping his wrist, “no those words, specifically” He didn't know what she was getting at, “It's a saying isn't it?” she was watching him from the corner of her eye, looking back thoughtfully at their baby “yeah,yeah it is..it's just not the first time I've heard it”

Dr Blake was watching them, “you two are a very unique pair you know that?” Toby looked up from where he was leaned over beside Happy, kissing the side of her head as they watched the image of their child “Oh we really are, and this kid is going to have a double dose of unique”

Happy looked over to the Doctor, "you think we can hear the heartbeat now?”

She nodded pulling out the fetal Doppler, Happy knew you could get ones for at home, she was considering getting one. Hearing her baby's heartbeat whenever she wanted seemed more personal than looking at the stick with 2 pink lines when she needed to be reminded how real and amazing this all was. She knew Toby would get a kick out of it too.

Dr Blake set to print out a picture of the ultrasound that they could take away with them before running the Doppler across Happy's stomach, till she found the right spot and the whooshing sound of their baby's beating heart echoed around the room. Toby gripped Happy's hand as they looked from the device to one another. Yeah, she wouldn't mind hearing that each night before she went to bed.

Toby took a recording on his phone before Dr Blake set down the machines, letting Happy wipe the gel residue off herself, before asking so many questions it made her head spin.

* * *

Happy felt fairly useless being unable to answer all the questions asked on her medical and familial history as well as Toby could on his side of things, She wasn't even fully sure as to the causes surrounding her mothers death, and that scared her. She didn't even know the technical term for which she was facing, only that it ended in death. She hadn't thought much about it up till that point, but now it was weighing heavily. She agreed she would talk to her Dad and inform Dr Blake of the things she was unknowing of as soon as she had. Happy being of higher risk was scheduled to come in 2 weeks later, just to keep an eye on progression and health. But all looked well at the moment.

* * *

When they got back to the truck Toby turned to her, “If you want, I'll be the one to talk to your dad, I know you fear upsetting him by dragging up old memories, but we need to know, do you want me to be the one to ask?”

Happy thought for a moment before answering,”yes, I want to be there, I want to know about my history as well. ”

He wrapped his arms around her, “tonight?”. She shook her head, “Tomorrow, tonight i just want it to be us, the three of us.” Toby beamed down at her, “just the three of us, I like the sound of that”

 


	5. Plenty time to worry, but you shouldn't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd recommend 'Sleeping at last- Arctic' as a song to listen to whilst you read :)

When they returned to the garage she expected Toby to be bouncing in his seat. Instead he was quiet and still, taking a few deep breaths before exiting the cab of the truck.

 

She waited for him by the door, he jogged over to take the door from her. She gave him a warning look pointing her finger at him. “Don't start that again. I can still handle a door. If you need a refresher in what your role is in this, go talk to Paige or Cabe again.” He backed up, throwing up his hands in acknowledgement allowing her to open the door for them both.

 

Happy instantly headed straight for the bathroom, having forgotten all about her need to pee having been distracted by the sight of their baby.

 

Having returned she had expected to see Toby pacing, waiting for her to return so he could make his announcement. He was however, back working at his desk as if they had only popped out for a coffee. She looked for Paige, spotting her in the kitchen.

 

“I went to pee, did he say anything? Did he _do_ anything?”

 

Paige swallowed her mouthful of coffee shaking her head, “Nope, didn't say a word. Just went straight to his desk”

 

Happy went to make herself a mug in her disappointment before remembering she had given up the caffeine. She set the coffee jug back in the dispenser with a little more force than necessary, before turning to lean against the counter. Paige watched Happy over the rim of her mug, waiting to see if Happy would speak first, her brow was furrowed and it appeared she was getting further into her own thoughts, knowing Happy and where her thoughts might lead combined with the hormones coursing through her body, of which Paige remembered all to well, she decided to stop her before she got ahead of herself, “So, did I win my bet?”.

 

Happy looked up, “hmm? Oh yeah, yeah you did...well, actually I won, by default. I wasn't even on the bed before the water works. You stated it would be when he actually  _saw_ him..or her. We don't know which...  _I_   at least want it to be a surprise”

 

Paige chuckled and rolled her eyes, setting down her mug, “Dang it, I should have known and don't tell me,Toby already knows, bet he knew right what to look for.” Happy gave a laugh herself, taking out a bottle of water from the fridge. “actually he doesn't or at least he isn't going to look it up, but he does apparently _feel_ it, “in his bones”. I'm not entirely sure what to make of that”

 

Paige looked at her confusedly, “why?”

 

Happy sighed, “because it's something my dad said, in a video of him and my Mom when she was pregnant with me. That he knew I was going to be a girl. I have never shown the video to Toby and I've never spoken about it, yet he repeated it verbatim. It's just odd I guess”

 

“Do you know what he's feeling it to be?”

 

Happy shook her head taking a swig from the bottle. “there is only a 50/50 chance he is right here, yet he won't say.”

 

Paige smiled, “and what are you thinking?”

 

Happy crossed her arms under her, expanded, chest. She was going to need new bras to be considered work appropriate. She wondered at what stage she might be resting her arms atop a bump, whether she would be one of those women who got so large they began using it as a form of shelf... how she might look all big and round. So very evidently with child.

“errrr, i've not really thought about it, I don't really mind so long as it is healthy and I come out of this alive.”

 

Paige furrowed her brow, “Happy, stop that. Toby is not going to allow the doctors to miss a thing, the man is going to be as qualified as they are by the time he has finished his research, probably more so. Medicine has come a long way, so you will be fine. Your gonna get to be a Mom.”

 

Happy considered her words, shaking her head ,“I just hope we have what it takes to be parents, I want to raise this kid right. How do you do that?”

 

Paige gave a laugh, “Happy it isn't hard, you love them and you show them and teach them what it is to be a good person, and as I said you are not alone in this, believe me when I say that it does indeed take a village, so look around you Happy. You have one, always. But you also have to face that each baby and experience is unique, some things you can't be taught by the books, you have to learn on the job. You are no doubt going to be told your doing “this wrong” and “that wrong” and “I wouldn't be doing that”, but you have to ignore those people, this is your kid, theirs is their own. All any one wants for their child is that they are safe,happy and have been given enough love and good teachings to make good choices and do the best they can for themselves and others when they venture out on their own, as long as that is a parents goal in the end, it doesn't really matter the little choices they make in getting them there. So you'll make mistakes, we all do, you let them have that extra slice of cake which then has them all but flying around the room, leave them in reach of a pen and come back to marks on your wall and you let them have a nap when you should have tried to keep them awake, ending up in a wide awake gremlin when it is you _really_ need them to sleep. But you will all survive it, and you will learn ”

 

Paige moved to take Happy's shoulders “This kid is going to be given all that really matters, so he or she, is going to do fine. You all are. I fully believe that.”

 

Happy was intently inspecting the lid of her bottle “I think I might need a reminder of that every once in a while.”

 

Paige lifted Happy's chin “and I will be right here to supply it”

 

There were gathering tears in Happy's eyes “I thought he would be all but busting to get in here and tell you all”

 

“Maybe he has grown enough to ask your permission for such declarations of which involve your personal life”

 

“Maybe” She didn't like the feeling of the knot in her stomach at Toby's out of character behaviour. He hadn't grown up that much in the last year.

 

She capped her water with a quick thanks to Paige she approached his desk. He was leaning on his hand, full focus on the screen in front of him, he didn't notice her looking over his shoulder. she relaxed at what she saw. He wasn't working, he was looking at reviews of baby seats, comparing them for efficiency, durability and adaptability. He was in fact making a separate list of pros and cons to each one he deemed a contender. She smiled, he was throwing himself back into this hard.

 

She didn't want to startle him, so kept her voice low and soft as she spoke “Toby, w-”

 

Well her intention was a failure, Toby whipped round sharply, knocking a rather large stack of books and paperwork to the floor as he went. “Happy! Cripes we have to put a bell on you or something!.. Can't wait till your bigger and harder to miss”

 

She popped her hip, placing her hands upon them and raising a brow, “excuse me?”

 

He bent down to pick up the papers, objecting when she bent to help too. “No! Don't, you'll get hurt, I'll get it.”

 

She fumed, whatever spell had been cast at having seen what he was working upon, was broken. She turned on her heel, heading for her sheet of metal in the back.

 

“Wait Happy!, damn it, Happy I didn't mean!-”

 

He jogged after her,grabbing her upper arm to stop her, “Happy, I didn't mean anything by that, you must know that. I'm just being cautious, it's real this time. I am going to be instinctively upping the anti on this protective, 'wrap you in bubble-wrap' thing. I'm going to try keep a handle on it, but you don't know what it is like for me. You know what's going on with you, inside of you. Your feeling it all the time, and I don't. I don't know how to feel useful enough to you, I never did.”

 

He wrapped an arm around her back, placing his other hand on her front, looking down at where their baby grew. Feeling the warmth of her body on his palm, “But my first instinct now is to protect you, prevent you from any harm, because right now, you are one. I shield you, I'm shielding our baby, I'm doing my job as a Dad. Please don't fault me for that, and I know I'm going to drive you crazy, and I'll try not to do it to often. But I care Happy, It's so fresh and new right now. I'm still trying to get used to it..again. I don't know what i can _do_ for you”

 

she gave a frustrated growl, pulling in tighter to him laying her head on his sternum, “Toby I'm still me, please don't start treating me with kid gloves. I'm not breakable, bending down, opening doors, swinging a hammer. It isn't going to hurt me.”

 

His voice was low with the lilt in his voice “It's not you I worry about getting hurt, it is you,by default but i'm not trying to impede you or be a pain. I'm just afraid of the rug being pulled out from both of us. I'm scared Hap. I'm suddenly drowning a bit here. Do you know how much of a miracle it is that we have got this far? The odds against any conception at all, for anyone? There are so many things that can go wrong, and there is so little I can do. Any healthy baby born into the world is a living breathing miracle, I don't know what to do with a miracle. The biggest one I've had so far has been you, and you have taken care of yourself so long, I don't know what I can do for you. I need to be needed and I know you don't need me yet. I don't have a purpose yet.”

 

Happy had kind of been expecting this, his freak out, she just didn't expect it to be so soon. Heck he had just found out and he was already going off the deep end. She took a deep breath and his hands. “of course I need you. I need you to hold my hand when this gets scary, I need you to make ridiculous food runs, I need you to hug me when I'm feeling cold and I need you to kiss me and tell me you still love me when my body evidently doesn't belong to me any more. you just need to be here. This bump is getting bigger and with that I'm going to get more fearful and insecure as this thing creeps up on me. These hormones are already doing a number on me and we are only a third of the way there. Six months Toby, is going to be a blink of an eye in the span of our lives. Do not doubt for a moment, that _we_ don't need you. Your time of necessity is coming in quick here Tobes, this isn't going to be like last time. This is _our_ time and it's the right time. We are solid so don't go shaking on me here. I need you to be excited and to show it, don't go hiding it like I asked of you before, we've evolved to get here so it's time to utilise those changes.

 

He thought about what she was saying, he was looking down, stroking the thumb of their embraced hands over the curve of Happy's stomach, he looked up. “does that mean we get to tell the team?”

 

she stepped into his chest, “I had expected you to have done so already”

 

He wrapped an arm around her waist, allowing her to hold the other one, kissing his fingertips one by one, “No, I learned my lessons. There will be no more embarrassment to you at the big mouth of your husband”

 

she gripped his hand tighter, looking up at him, “No Toby, I learned _my_ lesson. Toby, you are loud and proud and wear you heart on your sleeve and I love that about you, I have learned to love that about you. You want to be the one to tell the world, because you couldn't be happier, you tell them. Tell them all and I will stand by your side, quietly, but equally as happy”

 

She gripped his neck bringing him down to her, her voice a whisper “I embrace your elation, because it brings me joy to see. Don't hide it for me, I don't want you to,not any more.” She kissed his lips sweetly, hand stroking his hair.

 

He rubbed his nose against hers, “you mean the world to me Happy, my world is now expanding.”

 

Happy gave a low chuckle, “How right you are” She kissed him again softly, “you want to show me those carriers you were looking at”

 

He pulled back to look at her,smiling warmly. “at home, I want to keep this between us for a little while longer”

 

she smiled back, “really?”

 

He kissed her head, “yeah, we should probably tell your dad first anyway. You going to be up to swinging by his place before we go home?”

 

“Thought we said we would wait to ask those questions?”

 

He pushed a section of hair behind her shoulder, “We are, but tonight however, you get to tell him he is going to be a grandpa.”

 

Happy was surprised and a little guilty, she hadn't thought about that part of it. Sometimes she actually forgot that he was around for her, that she was no longer parent-less. “You are going to make _me_ tell him?”

 

“I'm going to let you, tell your dad that his little girl, is having a little girl”

 

Happy pushed at his chest, “so you think we are having a little girl!”

 

He held her face pecking a kiss on her mouth, “I _know_ we are having a little girl”

 

she hit at his chest but not enough to hurt him, “you don't know anything, I am going to be _so_ smug if it's a boy”

 

His hands came to rest at her shoulders, “are you feeling a boy?”

 

“I don't know, how does 'boy' feel as opposed to 'girl'?”

 

He shrugged, “what do your bones tell you?”

 

“that pregnancy is hard work”

 

He laughed, “That I am sure, it suits you beautifully however”

 

Happy rolled her eyes, “you compliment me like we are still courting, you ever going to let up?”

 

He shook his head, wrapping his arms back around her kissing her crown “never ”

 

* * *

 

Patrick was pleased to see them both, they spoke of work and the team before Happy gathered the confidence to approach the subject they came to inform him of. "Dad, you know how i've been on this, errrm, health kick for a while?”

 

The mechanic chuckled, “Yeah, bit drastic in my opinion but hey, I'm proud of your dedication”

 

Happy gave her own nervous chuckle, “It was for um, well a purpose, I was, we were uh..trying to have a baby, and well..something must have kind of... worked. Because i'm pregnant” She saw Toby hiding his grin behind the bottle of beer in his hand, watching her father.

 

Her father sat forward in his chair, setting down his own beer, “What?”

 

Happy, flicked her eyes to Toby before setting them back to her dad, “I'm pregnant, your..going to be a, eh, grandpa, or grandfather..or whatever it is you wish to be called...or just Patrick if your not..comfor-table...” She looked to Toby who continued to smile.

 

Her father had stood up and was pacing in front of his chair, hand on his hip other brushing his scruffy jaw, “Pregnant, really!?” he gave a laugh, “I'm gonna be a grandpa” he seemed rather unbelieving of the possibility, turning back to Happy and Toby, eyes filled with unshed wetness, she gave a quick glance to Toby as to ask whether she should stand, he gave a quick nod, keeping his eyes on the older man.

 

Happy stood up, more than a little unsure as what to do, “are you, em, ok? Are you happy?”

 

Patrick gave another laugh, “happy? Of course, I can't believe it, i'm getting to be a granddad, I wondered for so long if I would ever see you again never mind get this. Oh Grace would be overjoyed Happy, and so proud. So, so proud “

 

He moved towards her, wrapping her in his arms. It always struck Happy how similar his hugs were to Toby's, warm and tight, the feeling of safety and love. Feeling like home.

 

Toby had stood up, “fancy seeing the first picture of your grandbaby pops?” Patrick pulled back from Happy, “I would, very much so”. Toby grinned proudly, pulling out the picture. Patrick gazed at the picture, his mouth popped open with a little 'oh', He looked up at Happy, “She's lovely Happy”

Happy's head instantly swung to Toby, a smug little grin appeared on his face as he looked down at his phone, she turned back to her father a little exasperated, “you think a girl _too_?!”

 

Patrick's smile widened, “I've yet to be wrong”, Happy popped her hands on her hips, “one kid, and you had a 50% of being right” Toby and Patrick shared a grin with one another, Toby turned to her “when you know, you know”

 

The comment reminded Happy, “...Dad, you still have that video you showed me, of you and mom?” Patrick's brow furrowed, “yes, it's upstairs. There is even an old video player if you can get it rigged up”

 

Happy nodded, moving out of the room leaving Toby and her father as she headed upstairs.

 

Toby looked up to Patrick, “want to hear her heartbeat?”

 

Patrick nodded as Toby pressed play on his recording, the rushing whoosh of the baby's heartbeat filled the room causing both men's hearts to squeeze and pick up speed in the emotion it induced.

* * *

 

When Happy returned down the stairs she found both men in an embrace, pulling away chuckling and sniffling. Happy rolled her eyes at them as they cleared their throats, swiping away rogue tears. “come on you blubbering messes, Toby, I want you to see this”

 

They followed her upstairs to a room that was evidently, once upon a time Happy's room, now it was filled with an old couch and TV, stacks of videos and objects from years of holding onto things, all scatted around the room. Happy sat down on the sofa pulling Toby with her and playing the video.

 

Maybe it was hormones, maybe it was the fact she was now carrying her own child and suddenly feeling closer to her mother despite having never met her or and seeing her parents so happy, so excited at the prospect of her arrival again, slow tears started to run down her face.

The video ended, and Toby softly spoke, “ 'I feel it in my bones'. That's why you looked at me funny. I said the same thing. Happy, I'm sorry if I upset you”

 

She grabbed his hand, “-No, no you didn't. It just surprised me that's all, something about it felt good to hear....Toby, will we be like that, will we be like my parents?”

 He gripped her hand "i hope-"

“Yes”

They both looked round to Happy's father in the doorway, red eyes and husk in his voice, “You will, you must be. You both know what came after that, but you don't face the same fate”

 

Patrick held Happy's gaze, “You are not your mother, Happy. Do not fear that, please don't let what happened dampen or cloud what is to come. You need to understand what went wrong, what your mother faced. But you mustn't fear, it because it is not going to be you.”

 

His gaze moved to Toby, “you are a doctor, you will be there. Do not let it be her. Do not sit idle, do not let anything happen to my girls Toby, don't be me. Listen to her, like I should have done. Something was wrong and Grace knew, but I put all my trust in the doctors and forgot about the trust I should have had in Grace and her knowledge of her own body. I let them push me around for feeling stupid in comparison. Use that Harvard card if you have to, just please don't let that ever be my girl.”

 

Toby stood up, walking over, his voice low and comforting as he placed his hands on Patrick's elbows “You have my word, when the time comes, I am going to be walking out of that hospital with two healthy, happy girls on my arms, I promise. I'll deliver her myself if I have to, you know that”

 

There was a low grumble from Happy, which brought a small smile to the lips of both men “like hell you will, you are getting nowhere near that end of business Curtis”

 

Toby moved his head to throw his words in her direction, but gave a wink to Patrick “Whatever you say dear.”

 

 

 


	6. "Dare to live the life you have dreamed"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry i haven't updated in a while, hopefully the inspiration will pick back up again a little sooner :P tell me what your thinking of what is there so far ;)

* * *

 

_Toby awoke, he sat up the other side of the bed was empty, but still warm._

 

_He slid out of bed padding down the hallway,pushing open the door at the end to a sight that made his legs shake. She was illuminated by the moonlight and the outside street lamps. She was gazing out the window, rocking softly in the chair he had made that they had pulled from storage, a soft snuffle from her arms had her glancing down and smiling. He wanted to commit this moment to memory, he wanted to recall it and treasure it forever. He felt he had seen it countless times, yet it felt brand new. Something brushed up against his leg._

 

_He looked down into wide deep brown eyes, shaped just like his own, yet his hair was midnight black and all curls. Toby smiled down as the small child clung to the bottom of his pants._

 

_He spoke quietly as to avoid disturbing Happy “Hi” ,the child beamed and lifted his arms up, Toby looked to Happy before he bent slightly to lift the child up into his arms, his small hand coming up to rest on Toby's cheek and turned his head as to look at the child, he brought their noses together, “Mommys feeding Sophie”. Toby smiled at the kid resting his hand on the back of his head,brushing his curls, “yeah she is, but why are you out of bed little man?” The child didn't meet his gaze, instead playing with the curls at the nape of Toby's neck, “Sophie was crying, I wanted to see she was ok” Toby shifted the kid in his arms, “well she is, and that's a very nice thing to do but Mommy has got her...so does that mean that you are gonna go back to bed?” The boy pouted and traced patterns on Toby's shirt, “I'll go back to your bed” Toby chuckled and raised a brow, “you sir, are a little chancer”. The boy gave him a milk tooth grin. “I promise I'll go to sleep” He started to walk back towards the bedroom, “oh you promise do you?” He giggled and nodding his head enthusiastically._

 

_Toby lay back on the pillow, turning his head to be face to face with his son who was enthusiastically talking him through all the dinosaurs and how big they were and what they looked like and who they looked similar to, but weren't, when suddenly another small body entered the room, sleepily climbing up onto the bed and draping themselves over Toby, teddy in hand. Toby looked towards the boy at his side who just rolled his eyes, looking so much like his mother, a small muttering of “cloth ears”. Toby gave him a small laugh and poke with the hand that wasn't instinctively slowly rubbing the back of the little girl, “oi! Who taught you that?” The boy quirked a brow,eyes sparking “you”._

 

_He didn't really know how to respond, just when he was about to a hand shot up from the human sprawled across his chest, he thought she had fallen back asleep but the hand instantly went to cover Toby's mouth, “ssssh Daddy, no more talking” Definitely a child who took after her mother then, although she didn't altogether look so much like her mother he knew, but how did he know? The room was too dark to see. He wasn't sure how but he knew, but he knew her hair was a dark brown, that she didn't have her mothers ebony locks like her brother, and whilst her eyes were the same almond shaped dark pools as Happy's, her skin was of a more pink complexion, like her fathers. He had no way of confirming it, he just knew, this all just felt like was all he had ever known, yet the names of these children, his children, he couldn't quite put his finger on. But they were certainly his, and he knew them even though..he didn't. It felt so natural as he planted a kiss to her exposed crown, as if he had done it a million times before. he felt content and calm, yet a little confused. When this had all happened, where had the last, 5, 6, years gone? He settled back against the pillow in pondering in the silence._

 

_He watched as the breaths of his daughter evened out and how the eyelids of his son fluttered and fought against closing but that sleep eventually won out. He heard the quiet footsteps of Happy as she padded back into the room stopping and popping out a hip, the babe nestled into the crook of her neck, herfist gripping at the fallen tendrils of Happy's hair, Happy pursed her lips, her voice firm but whispered “Really, Toby?”_

 

_He peered over the sleeping children of whom had both cuddled in closer to their father's form. “I only brought one, the other followed” Happy rolled her eyes laying the baby in her arms down into the travel cot that was still set up in the room._

_“plus your one to talk, “getting to big to stay in with us” you said, “time she got used to her own room” you said, you big softie.” Happy stood back up turning to her husband a small smile on her lips, “and I stand by that, I just thought that we should take a little time doing it, settle her in a little slower” Happy slid under the cover coming to rest up against the back of her son, planting a kiss on his shoulder, Toby looked across at her a smirk and raised eyebrow, “mhmmm..whatever you feel is right mama bear” Happy gave a chuckle before letting out a sigh, “I may be a softie but your just a big push over.”_

 

_Toby closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of having his family so close, the slow breaths, the warm bodies, the beating hearts of the people that now made up his family, “yeah, yeah I am”_

 

 

He awoke from the dream as Happy curled in closer, he closed his eyes again easily falling back into the cusp of sleep, he wrapped his arm across her back, peppering soft kisses along her hairline, she shifted, her eyes stayed closed but was half roused. Her voice was crackled and sleepy, “you ok, Doc?” he gave her side a little squeeze, his voice equally quiet and with a mumbled, low laugh “hmm? Mhmm...were gonna need a bigger bed” She nuzzled her face into his chest, her voice a soft sigh, “what?”

 

She didn't get a response, Toby had already fallen head first back into his dreams, the dreams of what their future could behold.

 

 


End file.
